Today, I had to tighten my belt to the next hole. It was a little snug, but I had to tighten it to keep my britches up. Seems I am no longer too big for them. Take that Grandma.
Today I consumed 2578 calories, over goal by 97 calories. I also walked briskly for 50 minutes, burning approximately 373 calories. Woot woot!
Today was long. I don't know why, can't put my finger on it. It wasn't because the accreditation survey team showed up and I stayed 2 hours late.The day seemed long prior to that. I just feel like I'm headed in the wrong direction.
I've been reading Nehemiah systematically the last few weeks. By systematically, I mean... slowly. I read a little everyday, and I usually re-read it for a night or two. I've been reading for almost 2 weeks in Nehemiah and I haven't even gotten to Chapter 5.
Anyway, one thing I've noticed in Nehemiah is that when he calls the Jews to work on the wall, no one complains. None of the Jews are recorded as saying "Nehemiah, dude, the ball game is about to start. Could we maybe do this whole wall thing tomorrow?" No. The only people being negative are God's enemies (see chapter 3 and 4; the Arabs, et al.).
I guess what I'm getting at is that the Jews didn't complain because they wanted to restore the wall. They enjoyed the work. They knew it was bringing God glory. I don't enjoy my work. I used to feel like I was making a difference. Now I feel like a paper-pusher (because that's mainly what my job is). I certainly don't feel I'm bringing God much glory.
Now, I know that as a believer God doesn't promise that everything will be fuzzy and happy and we'll just wet our little Christian pants with joy everyday (if you do that, let me know. I want to pray for you.) But, at the same time, if my purpose is to glorify Him, it helps if it's tolerable.
Is this just me complaining? I don't know. I'm a little dehydrated from the walk and tired because it's late. I just want to enjoy my job. I've been working in mental health for almost 7 years in various capacities and it is time to move on. I have business degree for Pete's sake - nothing in mental health!
God lead me like you did Nehemiah and his team that rebuilt that wall. They did it in 52 days. But only because you were there and gave them grace, protection and determination to do it. Give me the same, O Lord. More importantly, don't let my occupation define me. Let who I am in You define me, and let whatever I do bring you glory. Amen.
This post written while listening to:
Death Machine by Resurrection Band
Intoxicating (Pneumatic Mix) by David Crowder*Band
The Race Is On by George Jones
People of God by Gungor
16 Tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford
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