I want to be a dentist!

We've watched Rudolph a couple times around our house already.  It's a favorite and I've always loved little Hermie the Elf, saying that line.  "You don't want to make toys??"  "No.  I want to be a dentist!"  "A dentist?!?!"

But as much as I like Hermie, I've always been a little jealous of this absurd little fictional character...

About a year and a half ago, I shared with some friends that I had felt called to the ministry for a long time.  I pursued it, slowly.  I talked with people who work in ministry I trust.  I looked at schooling options here in St Louis.  I even looked at schools outside the state with online or weekend programs.  I went to a couple Bible studies, and B and I led one in our home.

Most importantly, I prayed.  I asked God to keep opening doors if this was what He wanted me to do, and to shut them if it wasn't.  Every door since I started asking that has been slammed shut in my face.

So now what?  Maybe I'm in a time of waiting.  Maybe in a few years, doors will open and things will happen and I'll enter the ministry.

But a part of me wonders if this isn't a time of waiting.  If I was wrong.  And that worries me some.  If I'm wrong, then am I going to work where I am for the rest of my career?  It's not that I dislike my job, it's just that I don't see myself there in 10 years.

I'm a very goal oriented person.  I want to get into a career and stay there, and I feel like that isn't happening.  My grandpa worked for 42 years for MO Highway Department before retiring.  My dad was in education for almost 30 years.  I know that isn't the norm for a lot of people anymore.  But still, I feel so... lost.  Directionless.  Without a purpose...

I know that this will probably be read by a no one but me but I had to get that out there... God, give me direction.

Just thinking...

So I was thinking last night and some today.  I started this blog as a way to track my weight loss journey.  Through a second part time job, some things happening and just life getting in the way, this blog has slowly turned into more of a general rambling diatribe...

Last night I was talking with 2 friends about weight loss and eating healthy and so forth.  I am serious about losing weight but am unfortunately one of those people that has lots of head knowledge, lots of theory but very little experience in practical application.  In other words I know what to do and why it works, but fail to do it more often than I succeed.  Hence the struggle....

So anyway, I'm going to start NOW with beign serious about trackin calories and exercising.  I know I didn't get overweight overnight and I won't lose as much as I need to in a couple weeks.  But it will take a sustained effort on my part and I'm scared of failing.

But as someone once told me, weight loss and healthy eating is 90% your attitude and beliefs about it, 6% what you eat and 4% exercise.

A word to parents, and a review of Boo at the Zoo

Last night we took L to Boo at the Zoo.  I want to say 2 things real quick about the.. experience.

I was a little disappointed in BATZ.  I thought there would be more and for $14, I felt like there should have been.  The Halloween stuff at Grant's Farm is way better and it's only a couple bucks more.  The Zoo is awesome, don't get me wrong.  For a free zoo, it's the best.  But for this event, it was not so good.

The second thing is more delicate.

Well, I just come right out with it.

Why don't some parents watch their kids?  I know my son misbehaves sometimes, he's a kid.  And I'm far from being a good dad.  But seriously?

L went last night as DJ Lance Rock  also (here) from Yo Gabba Gabba! and looked awesome.  He has a Muno backpack and a huge Brobie stuffed animal and we put those in his wagon.

While we were in the children's zoo, which was free at night, 3 different kids tried to take them.  I had to stand with the wagon while B took him to the exhibits and make sure no hooligans kids took his stuff.

Seriously?  It's ridiculous!

Okay, rant over.  Bye for now.

Join the Dead

It seems that when some product or publication gets a huge amount of hype, there's usually a huge amount of letdown.  Take, for instance, the New Coke.  Or Chevy Chase's talk show.  Or the McDonald's Arch Deluxe. Or Jimmy Dean's Chocolate-Chip-Pancake-Wrapped-Sausage-on-a-Stick (why did that fail, I wonder...).

But occasionally, something gets get a lot of hype that pays off.  Like, for instance, Join the Dead's debut EP on Roxx Records.

Being a Christian metal fan, I heard about this record for months before it came out.  I heard how great it was going to be and how I should go buy it as soon as it came out.  I didn't, for two reasons.  First, I'm not a big thrash fan and second, the hype.

But a month or so ago when the oppurtunity arose to write some album reviews for Untombed Webzine, (untombed.com) I thought I'd email a few record companies and see if they wanted the free publicity.  The first album to land in my email box? Join the Dead's self titled EP.

Join the Dead consists of Michael Phillips (Deliverance, The Sacrificed, Fasedown) Paul White (Decadence) and Tim Kronyak (Deliverance).  For those of you also into Christian metal, those names are legendary in thrash circles.

When I put the album on my mp3 player to listen to, I figured I would listen to it once, write a quick review, email Bill the link and be done with it.  But every time I went to write this, I didn't know what to say.

The album is classic thrash.  There are 4 songs, yet the EP clocks in at almost 30 minutes.  The vocals are rough and shouted, but you can still pick up a melodic structure.  The guitars are cruncy and heavy, and Mike Phillips shines in every song.  The drums pound and I don't know how someone with only two legs can play double bass that fast.  The lyrics are excellent and in your face.

All in all, this is an excellent debut. I'm definately looking forward to a full length from these guys in the future.  This album absolutely lived up to the hype.

Check 'em out here.

Reviews coming...

So recently I've had the interesting oppurtunity to start reviewing albums.  These will periodically show up on here.  There will be 2 kinds, teh first being ones I am doing independently for this very blog.

The second will be published by a webzine called Untombed, specializing in Christian hard rock and metal.  Here's my first review for them. http://untombed.com/archives/7277

The day of finality

Well, in mid-January we found out the place I work is closing.  We are one of three sites and they're consolidating our consumers.  When the announcement came, I was one of 9 that found out that I was being laid-off or demoted.

The last group moves October 3rd.  My last day in my current position is October 31st.  I was todl I could take the demotion or resign in good standing.

It's a reality.  Yikes.

Along with my demotion is coming a 10% pay cut, unless I counteroffer and they accept.

I've been looking for a new job to avoid this but I can't force someone to hire me, or even interview me.  I have a coworker who tells me about once a week I need to get out but I have a family to provide for and I can't spend 3 months with no job or even one that doesn't pay that much.

I can't believe I'm still working with my organization.  I was so sure God was going to open a door.  Instead, that door has remained firmly shut.

What am I going to do?

Written while listening to: The Toll by Glenn Kaiser Band

Campus Crusade for Christ is no more...

So I read an article thanks to a friend about Campus Crusade for Christ (read it yourself here). They have changed their name to the much more hip "Cru", thereby removing any offense that people may have by use of the word "crusade", as well as removing any hesitation by the unsaved be taking out the word "Christ". 

This has sparked some interesting discussion.  Some think Cru sounds like hair product.  Some think by taking out the name of Jesus, "Cru" is embarassed by Him.  In fact, I even put this out as a possibility in a forum I regularly post on and had several people get upset.

So what do you think?  Is Cru a better name?  Should they have left it alone?  Do you care?

Written while listening to: Autumn Brings by Walking With Kings

C'mon and get happy!

This weeked, B and I discovered something that irritates both of us.

We were walking into a groecry store here in the area to get a couple things and as I lifted L into the cart, a lady was in my peripheral vision.  I looked at her, made eye contact and smiled.  She looked away and kept walking.  By the time we got into the store and I mentioned it to B, it had happened 3 times.

Why are people so dang unhappy?  Come on people!  Smile!

If you are a Christian and you are unhappy, stop it!  We have hope and a reason to smile.

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.” Psalm 5:11

I'm back!

Well, in November of last year, I signed off saying I just couldn't do this anymore.  After much thought and prayer, I realized I need some outlet to vent the thoughts that run through my head (as uninteresting as they are).

So starting now, I will post whenever I feel the need - no schedule or pressure.  After all I am working two jobs right now.  Jeez people, I'm not a machine.

Written while listening to:
Lovespeak by Resurrection Band