Just like Dad

I find that the older I get, the more I'm like my dad. Sure, we have some differences. If you ask him what he's reading, it'll be a newspaper where if you ask me, it'll be a novel. If you ask him to put on some music, it'll be Neil Diamond or Elvis Presley or some Southern gospel. Ask me to put on some music and I'll play The OC Supertones, Slick Shoes, Five Iron Frenzy, Jars of Clay or something along those lines. But the older I get, the more I'm like him. The older I get, the more I like fishing. The older I get, the more I like ham sandwiches. With mustard. The older I get, the more my humor sounds like his. Now my dad has his flaws, like anybody else. But I know he loves Jesus. So the more I get to be like my dad, hopefully I get to be even more like Jesus.

Starting Over (for the thousandth time)

For some reason, that sounds like a bad country song to me. But I digress. Already. I've had this blog for a long time. I've been very active, blogging almost every day, then it will sit dormant, like a long forgotten toy stuck in your parent's attic.

I'm starting over. But this time, no schedule, no pressure to write every day. I'm only going to write when I want to. And I'm going to write about whatever I want. This thing is not going to have any dress code or standard (setting a high bar for myself here, huh?).

But to the point, today I'd like to write about writing. I started drafting the outline to a book about 3 months ago, maybe less, and started a rough draft last week. Some of you that know me know that I've wanted to be a novelist longer than I've been able to drive (which is almost 18 years now). But I've either been "too busy" or "scared" or some other lame excuse that prevented me from sitting at my computer for an hour or three and pounding out a couple hundred or so words.

A few months ago, a good friend of mine that I'll call J, told me not to be scared. And he said that even though whatever it was that scared me may be legitimate, if God wants me to write, he'll give me the ideas and the words to put on paper (or on the word processor screen at this point). He told me just to step out there and do my best and the very worst thing that could happen would be that I write novels the rest of my life that never get published.

 That made sense. I am able to stay very focused on just about anything, as long as I'm not too tired. I'm the guy that can drive a flat, straight highway for hours and find it enjoyable. I'm the guy that can research just about anything and find it interesting. But, in my head, I have so much I feel like I should say. So much I want to say. So much I am required to say. So much to say that sometimes it overwhelms me and I don't know how to shut it out.

So, I started writing... which I already mentioned. I put aside my fears (Does this suck? Is it a bad idea? What will my parents/family/friends/random people who know me think? What if I never get published?) and I wrote, just for the sheer enjoyment of using a gift I feel like God gave me - to construct a story and put words on paper.

The first night, my goal was 250 words. I wrote 1257. The second night, my goal was 750 words (for a total of 2007 words). I ended with 2468 words (which is 1211 words). Last night my goal was again 750 words (which would put me at 3218). When I saved my work last night, I think I was at almost 3400. Every time I've sat down to write, I've gone past my goal.

So, for the few people who may actually read this, I pose a questions. What are you dreaming about that you're too "busy" or "scared" to try? Why not step in the box and swing the bat a few times? You may be surprised what happens.

Written while listening to:
Dandelions - Five Iron Frenzy
Paranormal Activity - Grave Robber
Sleep Long - Operation Ivy

I want to be a dentist!

We've watched Rudolph a couple times around our house already.  It's a favorite and I've always loved little Hermie the Elf, saying that line.  "You don't want to make toys??"  "No.  I want to be a dentist!"  "A dentist?!?!"

But as much as I like Hermie, I've always been a little jealous of this absurd little fictional character...

About a year and a half ago, I shared with some friends that I had felt called to the ministry for a long time.  I pursued it, slowly.  I talked with people who work in ministry I trust.  I looked at schooling options here in St Louis.  I even looked at schools outside the state with online or weekend programs.  I went to a couple Bible studies, and B and I led one in our home.

Most importantly, I prayed.  I asked God to keep opening doors if this was what He wanted me to do, and to shut them if it wasn't.  Every door since I started asking that has been slammed shut in my face.

So now what?  Maybe I'm in a time of waiting.  Maybe in a few years, doors will open and things will happen and I'll enter the ministry.

But a part of me wonders if this isn't a time of waiting.  If I was wrong.  And that worries me some.  If I'm wrong, then am I going to work where I am for the rest of my career?  It's not that I dislike my job, it's just that I don't see myself there in 10 years.

I'm a very goal oriented person.  I want to get into a career and stay there, and I feel like that isn't happening.  My grandpa worked for 42 years for MO Highway Department before retiring.  My dad was in education for almost 30 years.  I know that isn't the norm for a lot of people anymore.  But still, I feel so... lost.  Directionless.  Without a purpose...

I know that this will probably be read by a no one but me but I had to get that out there... God, give me direction.

Just thinking...

So I was thinking last night and some today.  I started this blog as a way to track my weight loss journey.  Through a second part time job, some things happening and just life getting in the way, this blog has slowly turned into more of a general rambling diatribe...

Last night I was talking with 2 friends about weight loss and eating healthy and so forth.  I am serious about losing weight but am unfortunately one of those people that has lots of head knowledge, lots of theory but very little experience in practical application.  In other words I know what to do and why it works, but fail to do it more often than I succeed.  Hence the struggle....

So anyway, I'm going to start NOW with beign serious about trackin calories and exercising.  I know I didn't get overweight overnight and I won't lose as much as I need to in a couple weeks.  But it will take a sustained effort on my part and I'm scared of failing.

But as someone once told me, weight loss and healthy eating is 90% your attitude and beliefs about it, 6% what you eat and 4% exercise.

A word to parents, and a review of Boo at the Zoo

Last night we took L to Boo at the Zoo.  I want to say 2 things real quick about the.. experience.

I was a little disappointed in BATZ.  I thought there would be more and for $14, I felt like there should have been.  The Halloween stuff at Grant's Farm is way better and it's only a couple bucks more.  The Zoo is awesome, don't get me wrong.  For a free zoo, it's the best.  But for this event, it was not so good.

The second thing is more delicate.

Well, I just come right out with it.

Why don't some parents watch their kids?  I know my son misbehaves sometimes, he's a kid.  And I'm far from being a good dad.  But seriously?

L went last night as DJ Lance Rock  also (here) from Yo Gabba Gabba! and looked awesome.  He has a Muno backpack and a huge Brobie stuffed animal and we put those in his wagon.

While we were in the children's zoo, which was free at night, 3 different kids tried to take them.  I had to stand with the wagon while B took him to the exhibits and make sure no hooligans kids took his stuff.

Seriously?  It's ridiculous!

Okay, rant over.  Bye for now.

Join the Dead

It seems that when some product or publication gets a huge amount of hype, there's usually a huge amount of letdown.  Take, for instance, the New Coke.  Or Chevy Chase's talk show.  Or the McDonald's Arch Deluxe. Or Jimmy Dean's Chocolate-Chip-Pancake-Wrapped-Sausage-on-a-Stick (why did that fail, I wonder...).

But occasionally, something gets get a lot of hype that pays off.  Like, for instance, Join the Dead's debut EP on Roxx Records.

Being a Christian metal fan, I heard about this record for months before it came out.  I heard how great it was going to be and how I should go buy it as soon as it came out.  I didn't, for two reasons.  First, I'm not a big thrash fan and second, the hype.

But a month or so ago when the oppurtunity arose to write some album reviews for Untombed Webzine, (untombed.com) I thought I'd email a few record companies and see if they wanted the free publicity.  The first album to land in my email box? Join the Dead's self titled EP.

Join the Dead consists of Michael Phillips (Deliverance, The Sacrificed, Fasedown) Paul White (Decadence) and Tim Kronyak (Deliverance).  For those of you also into Christian metal, those names are legendary in thrash circles.

When I put the album on my mp3 player to listen to, I figured I would listen to it once, write a quick review, email Bill the link and be done with it.  But every time I went to write this, I didn't know what to say.

The album is classic thrash.  There are 4 songs, yet the EP clocks in at almost 30 minutes.  The vocals are rough and shouted, but you can still pick up a melodic structure.  The guitars are cruncy and heavy, and Mike Phillips shines in every song.  The drums pound and I don't know how someone with only two legs can play double bass that fast.  The lyrics are excellent and in your face.

All in all, this is an excellent debut. I'm definately looking forward to a full length from these guys in the future.  This album absolutely lived up to the hype.

Check 'em out here.

Reviews coming...

So recently I've had the interesting oppurtunity to start reviewing albums.  These will periodically show up on here.  There will be 2 kinds, teh first being ones I am doing independently for this very blog.

The second will be published by a webzine called Untombed, specializing in Christian hard rock and metal.  Here's my first review for them. http://untombed.com/archives/7277